I'm falling but you're the one to make me fly
by OwlSky15678
Summary: Phil has been hiding things from Dan for too long and now he wants to tell him all about the other side of himself. WARNING INSIDE! Phan oneshot


**Hey guys! I'm back on another phan oneshot! This is sort of using this FanFiction to express my own feelings but we don't need to get into that. Hope you enjoy, this is going to be a bit sad at the start but gets happy, yay! Short but it was just an idea I had. **

**TRIGGER WARNING: CURRENT DEPRESSION. MENTIONS OF SELF-HARM IN THE PAST.**

**-OwlSky15678**

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**I'm falling but you're the one to make me fly**

***Phil's POV***

I don't know how much more of this I can take. Everything has gone from me, everything. I'm not sure how much of my own thoughts I can take before everything gets too much. I feel like I'm falling, falling down this pit of darkness and there isn't any way to get back up. I want to fly. I'm falling but I just want to fly. My whole life has been affected since I got diagnosed. Diagnosed with depression, I haven't told anyone yet. My depression lead to anxiety and know I'm a wreck. I don't cut myself anymore, I got over that slowly. I have the scars on my legs and waist, all the ones on my arms faded which was very good. I'm handling it okay at the moment, nothing stupid in three months. I'm on anti-depressants and they seem to be working. I think I might be getting better. I should probably tell my best friend, Dan Howell that I'm suffering. But I don't know how he will take it. He took me coming out as bi okay, but this is different. Far different. I need to tell him. How? Oh sugar, that's him now. He's just got home from being out with PJ and Chris. I wipe the tears away from my eyes and sit up in my bed, still hugging one of my lions.

"I'm back" Dan shouted closing the door, "Guess what?"

"What?" I groan back, trying to stay positive but not working, I'm worrying too much.

"PJ and Chris are dating" Dan sang and he climbed the stairs.

I fake laugh and say, "Should have known" nothing seems to make me happy.

Dan knocked on my door, "Are you okay?"

I gulp and lie, "Yeah"

Dan twisted my door knob and opened it, "No you're not" the door swung open and I looked over at him, tears in my eyes. Dan ran over to me and pulled me into a hug, "Don't lie to me"

"Sorry" I mumble into his chest.

He pulled out of the hug and looked at me, "You're hiding something from me"

I nod slowly, "I don't know how to tell you. I'm hiding a few things"

I felt his gaze look over my body then back to my blue eyes, "You can tell me anything"

I look away from him and gulp, feeling some tears drip down my checks, "I'm getting better"

"Better from what?" Dan asks.

"You won't judge me or hate me will you?" I ask, looking back up at him.

"No, never" Dan answers.

I gulp, this is it, "Um- Dan? There's a few things I haven't told you, I've just got on with them on my own but I think it's time for you to know. Dan, I'm diagnosed. Diagnosed with depression and anxiety" I pause.

"How long?" he asks softly.

"Depression for one year and two months and anxiety was a result of my depression only been suffering from that for seven months but I got diagnosed quickly" I look away from him, ashamed.

Dan took his hands in mine, "There's something else isn't there"

"Only a couple" I gulp then carry on looking at our joined hands, "I'm going to let you know how I feel, it's easier to talk now. I feel like I'm falling but" I look up into his eyes, "I just want to fly"

Dan looked back at me and whispered, "Maybe I'm the one to make you fly"

I just star at him then mumble, "One more thing, Dan. You know I came out to you. Well I didn't know it then but" I look directly into his soft chocolate brown eyes, "I love you" Did I do the right thing? I can feel my anxiety kicking in. Dan strokes his thumbs across my palms but don't loose eye contact with me, there is a small smile on his face.

"What?" I mumble.

"I've been waiting so long to hear you say those three words. Phillip, I love you too" Dan said.

I would have appreciated that more if anxiety wasn't running through my veins, "But how can you love me?" I said quickly, "I'm nothing. Nothing at all. I have depression and all sorts. There are so many scars over my body there is too many to count. You can't put all that on your shoulders. I'm nothing, nobody would love me" I look away from his gaze.

Dan just freezes but pulls me into a hug and whispers, "You're problems are my own too. I can help and no buts. I love you Phil. Once you fall for the personality, everything else comes. I feel in love with you for who you are. I'm here for you through good and bad, all the way until you die"

I felt a tear slip down my check and it dampened Dan's shirt. I smiled a true smile. It felt so good; I hadn't smiled like this in ages, thanks Dan. I pulled out of the hug and looked into his eyes and asked, "Dan?"

"Yeah" Dan whispered.

"Can I kiss you?" I whispered back.

Dan's smile was the yes and I attached my lips to his. It took a few seconds for Dan to kiss me back but once his did it was the best feeling ever. I'd live for this, I'd survive for this feeling. Dan ended up falling backwards and me falling with him, a giggle escaped my lips as I landed on top of him. Dan giggled too and kissed me again. I groaned into the kiss which made Dan smile and he wrapped his arms around my waist. I twisted my fingers into his soft hair and kissed the life out of him. I could lie like this forever. Eventually we broke apart, gasping for air. I rolled off him so I was lying next to him. He wrapped his fingers with mine and we lay looking at the ceiling.

"Phil?" he asked me softly.

"Yeah?" I replied with a smile.

"Will you be my boyfriend?" Dan whispered, I'd been waiting too long to hear those words escape those perfect lips of his.

I smiled again, a true smile and replied with a quiet high pitch, "Yes" which made Dan giggle. Our conversation was forgotten as Dan kissed me again. I knew from then on I had something to live for. My Daniel James Howell, the boy to save me. He is defiantly the one to make me fly.

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**I know its short, don't kill me. Hope that was okay! I like writing half sad, half happy fics. Please review if you enjoyed! Until next time. BYE GUYS!**

**-OwlSky15678**


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